Gaussian Fuzzy Future Time

First, sitting in front of the computer becomes dull in thinking, thinking about every word and typing every word, not as comfortable as before, telling it to people who like to listen to it. Now don’t say, say less, because it is really my sad home. Want to so quietly let friends forget me, I covered myself up, covered up for a long time, and found that there was mildew on my body and I started to have a whole set of problems.. People, after all, are social.   Two, yesterday and today, the feeling of head pain has always been. Once a day out of the door, the only way to go out is to go downstairs and breathe, suck the dust on the road, listen to the cries of fruit stalls, bask in the bright and aggressive sunshine, and blow the dry and endless wind.. I didn’t talk to anyone. No longer have nowhere to go, just hang slippers upstairs. Reading books, doing questions and listening to videos are beginning to become greedy and eager for quick success and instant benefits, but haste makes waste.. Headache, is the brain beginning to suffer from indigestion? I do not know. Always wonder why this is so? Why is this?? Will this experience be the lowest point in life when you look back on it several years later? As described in many inspirational movies, I’m not too bad compared with those who are embarrassed, but have any writers arranged a beautiful future for me? No, but you can decide for yourself. I think this is what everyone wants to tell me. But I know.   Third, I worked hard to piece together the time I didn’t waste, save them up for comfort, and then worked hard to find excuses for wasting my time, some trivial things, some minor illnesses, and so on, all crowded in my mind. They swelled, swelled, fermented, and finally made me feel full of methane, which made me uneasy.. I began to learn those useless things and began to feel smug after learning a little fur, showing off in my family. Up to now, I haven’t understood myself, is it really childish, or is it too eager to be respected and not looked down upon? I don’t want to look at myself from my own perspective and write about myself. That would think that he was just sitting in the dark and crying for himself alone.   Four, whether there is a problem with EQ or IQ? Why is it that I am a little overwhelmed, a little out of control, a little scared, and the scenery in front of me is a little gray until it disappears completely?. The vigorous dawn seems to have long passed, and this lazy afternoon is confusing and tiring, and even the decadent evening will not be seen. If you lose morale and confidence and do not have the courage to lower your head to sleep on your feet and taste bravery, it is not enough emotional intelligence. If you bury all day in the book mountain and the sea without any achievements, you will soon become mentally ill. What if none of them are? It must be a matter of time. I think this is also what smart people want to tell me. However, time is just a pair of chronic poisons, and the moment you are delighted, you will be sick to the bone marrow..   All the unhappy things come from his own thoughts. Even sickness and death cannot make happy people sad. However, the healthy and strong people who can’t sleep and eat can’t enjoy the beautiful scenery, listen to music and exercise with passion.. Everyone’s environment affects his reluctance to migrate to worse habitats, so he may lose everything in the same environment. Eating, wearing, living and getting love are just the most basic needs of people, among which love is the only one who does not want to give up. Because of love, I kept all my pursuits, but I also became haggard. Perhaps in the end, it was because of love that I lost love.. I like someone very much, but I can’t tell her. But just calculating, that day was delayed, delayed, delayed again and again . Ah, until it became a pity.   Six, the economic foundation determines the superstructure. If writing is a hobby, if photography is also a hobby, if like poetry, like all cultures is a hobby, then these are all useless in the face of economic foundation. They’re just superstructures, aren’t they. It’s just for edifying one’s sentiment, or for increasing one’s personal charm.. It is often foolish to show off your culture in front of a worker, because you are not as good as a dung picker. Although I don’t agree with the statement that there is no dignity without money, I think it can accomplish almost everything. In addition to their own conscience cannot be changed.   If your greatest need is to realize your own value, where will you realize your value, or in what aspects? If it is legal, then I need to be familiar with the provisions of various laws and apply them. I also need to be able to articulate and be a lawyer..If it is a judge, what is the value of all civil servants? All the qualities they need to possess are in their modifiers. How many civil servants survive on their own knowledge or skills? What if it’s writing? I was not confident enough and never tried. Maybe you have other potential, such as management, planning, leadership, etc., or starting a business to create value for the society.. There is no shortcut to realize one’s own value, but only one step at a time..   On the bright side, this society gives opportunities to others as well as to you, but you need to work harder than others to get this opportunity. If you have worked hard, you may be able to get a return, but not necessarily. The bad thought is that this society is full of unfairness. It is not going to get ahead of school or fight in the society from an early age. I believe most intellectuals who have changed their fate will only become mediocre in the end. They will be baptized by big waves in this fiercely competitive society. After that, some will drift with the tide, some will die on the beach, others will swim upstream and still struggle..   Nine, on the one hand, I despise women who don’t respect themselves, irresponsible men or men with flower hearts. On the other hand, I lament my stupidity and simplicity.. On the one hand, I hate this impetuous society and the world full of material interests, on the other hand, I see some people sending out simple and pure light..   Ten, fate, is an objective thing. But fate is definitely not objective. I think it is objective idealism and my fate is arranged by heaven. No matter how you exert your subjective initiative, it will not change.. If there is no philosophy in life, everyone will lose himself. Are you a materialist?   Don’t believe in bad luck now, or in the future. The present state is just a manifestation of the fact that it has no external influence, or that it is just a bad result of some previous actions.. For the future, it may always be bad, or there may be a turn for the better. This is due to your environment at some point in the future. The quality of this environment is related to your current behavior. You can change your fate through your behavior, but you don’t know the extent and direction of his change.. Because you are in society, society is influencing you. If you live to survive, your misfortune is loss or hunger and disease. Death, disease and hunger and cold are just like ordinary living things. The meaning of our life is more complicated, and those things will not change.     All pain is a sign of incompetence. This sentence is inspiring. You can turn yourself into Superman, but you can’t change this world. Ordinary people are happier than Superman.. So, have a balanced heart.   To integrate into this society, we should start with ” mediocrity” ideologically. From the bottom, come back. In the process, maybe your talent and progress will help you.   ( Written after graduating from college in 2012, after repeated failures of civil servants due to interviews )