By my life near you

A father from his hometown called and asked me: you do not move the company also recruit cleaners or something, you see, I do not go to the line?Neither you nor I have a care immediately give up his idea, firmly told him: people do not want more than fifty years old!Besides people early move over, no shortage of people!This father sadly hung up the phone.Blame me speak out of turn, spoken long ago and my mother called, the company has a lot of old lady to candidates cleaners.Who knows inadvertently chat actually reached the ears of his father, so he sprouted a desire to come to candidates.Luckily he think of this idea, I can not afford to lose this person.Besides, I had come to Beijing just to far away from his father, to save him all day I do not look pleasing to the eye.But I did not expect this unpleasant conversation became my father’s last communication, not a half a month, I suddenly heard from her, she refrained grief as much as possible with a calm voice told me: children, you come back trip it, your dad he did not.I sat on the night train back home, the way the ear is full of train bang bang sound, shook his heart tight.This direction is so many years I have been to resist, I had to go far away from the over and over again in this direction, just as his father did not want to forgive.Two of my father’s feelings and has been bad, compared to her sister’s cute, childhood naughty I do not always like his father.There is no way he dealt with cultural issues always simple and rude, the time of childhood, of her father’s beatings for me has long been commonplace.A child, my mother secretly took fifty cents to buy candy on the table, after the father knew was furious, pushed me in the white picket fence, picked up the belt go out into the hands of my body pumping, showed no Jiehen ground scolded: how I raised you such a disappointing thing, I see you later still dare steal!Wide and thick belt hit the body is intolerable pain, distressed mother was in tears at the side, took my call: kids, fast, and your dad admit you were wrong!Or was I just bit his lip with his teeth tightly not utter a word.After graduating from junior high school, I did not enter a key high school, will be given a free hand reported a vocational school, I think anyway, but it is not the father heart of the Phoenix bird, why waste money at home to see his father’s face, not as early to make money out of this house.In the ethos that poor schools, girls usually most of the time wasted re-dress, I had not been spared.The first time you come home from school, I think wore a very stylish blond hair, did not enter the house, all the way across furious to see his father came toward me, despite my resistance and shouting, all of a sudden I picked up to drag home.He pointed to the mirror makeup, I shouted: You look at what you are now ghosts, students do not study hard at home, thinking all day!I sneer in my heart, I thought this is not thanks to you, you also cursed me when I can think of, so I thought, thus revealing his face expression of disdain.Unrepentant father to see me the way, grabbed the flashlight on the table with anger toward my knees would not know the severity smashed down.I slowly looked swollen knees, as if this is not a piece of meat from his father who fell like, my heart suddenly into a desolate.Perhaps that moment, I swear I’ll never forgive my father.After three since then, even though the weekend I live in the school did not come home.I was mad to learn, this is the only way I can think of that time away from his father.Mother only every other period of time to put money to school topic between us are always bypass the father.Mother looked at me horrendous thin, distressed straight tears, she can do is put more money in front of me insisted refused to go home, his mother said: children, do not feel bad money, business is still your dad now Yes, they are not short of money.I listened, I thought one day I will earn a lot of money, used his father’s money a dime a minute I will be back to him, at that time, my father and two clear of the bar.Except perhaps my own, no one thought at a vocational school dawdle I can go to college.Can be thousands of miles from home, I really appreciate the taste of homesick.Dorm sisters are often distant parents holding the phone and talking heart to heart, only me, even to call home, and his mother only say a few words to hang, I’m afraid my father would suddenly received a telephone call, the kind Mohuazhaohua the atmosphere will only make both ends of the phone feel embarrassed.Year, when only the New Year I will go home, often at home for a few days I did not go back to school right again.I have used the extra time to work, earn money in addition to tuition, I will save a little bit with, two clear of the oath I have never forgotten.After graduation, while working and living difficulties, but I persuaded mother, she insisted to stay in Beijing.I secretly vowed, as long as there is food to eat here, I would never go back.Four just did not think that winter in the financial crisis, I unfortunately lost his job.I was going to stay in Beijing Spring Festival to continue looking for work, the mother may suddenly called: children, home for the holiday it, you want your dad say.I thought a move, this is the first time I can remember my father wanted to hear.But I hesitated and did not go back, thinking their own pair of abjection appearance, at home do not know how to have been the father of blame it.New Year’s Eve the night before, I was in a small rented house vaguely heard out there knock on the door, opened the door, the father and mother, the two are carrying large bags standing at the door, I can not stay in front of believe my eyes, it would be far away from their parents how I came specially and New Year?This is the great promise of Beijing and how they just relying address on the envelope to find me?Mother whispered to me: your dad this time talking about the old heart is not practical, have to come and see.I turned to look busy in the kitchen of his father, his father seems to no longer be the year that I grimace towards the man, where he rickets waist look at slightly difficult to cut the vegetables, his mouth still humming a ditty, my heart I do not know what it’s like.During that time, my mother and I talk, my father always pretended to cough twice, say you Nianger Liang Well, I go for a walk, you can often see him linger for a long time in the next, yet leave out.In fact, during that time his father’s body on to worse, just careless I only care about looking for a job, but do not know his father is ill and dragged all the way to Beijing to see me.After five to go home to see his mother, the mother seemed much older overnight, she kept repeating over and over again to my father before I left has been reluctant to sleep, he was waiting for me to go home.Although sad heart, but I comfort his mother: my sister had sent him away, he can be considered no regrets, anyway, not my dad sent me a.He listened to me, never played my mother gave me a harsh slap in the face, not bad you?Children, these words can really hurt your ears, ah!You know, your dad is you Zuiteng!You vocational school on those years, your dad is not good business, family life is very tight, but he always let me give you some money to, sometimes you can not eat a meal a few months younger sister meat.Children, your dad hurt the How about you.The original when I hated my father, my father still been thinking about me.Mother told me: you grew up naughty than the average child, stubborn temper, you do not learn to see your dad was anxious ah, which Dangdie hurt their children?Your dad was a child too spoiled by your grandfather, not love school, seventeen-year-old came out giving the coolies, your dad is afraid of you more detours ah!I quietly finishing his father’s possessions, in the bottom drawer of his father, neatly stacked letters I had written to his mother’s college, I played with trembling hands attached to the face, as if on top of that there is the father of breath that choking smell of smoke, and that love is thick, I could not help but let my tears flow down.From small to large, I always felt disdain for the simple rude way of doing things his father, originally, under the discipline of his father’s rough unreserved love.But I never tried to look closer, seeking only their own feelings and let yourself get rid of like a kite string, and farther away from him.I know, never left his father’s love, as long as I turn around, it can be tightly hug.